Sunday, November 13, 2011

The Wilson Red Line Stop

I have lived in this city for six years.

Which means I have been pan handled on numerous occasions, I've seen everything from sad to "maybe this person really does need money". I've also seen the creative...for example, Shakespeare guy down by Columbia College who only speaks in language of Shakespeare's day, only once did I see him break character.

Shakespeare man: Good morrow, sweet lady how are thou?

Me: I'm doing alright, how are you?

Shakespeare man: I'm fucking cold.

He had a schtick and I'm pretty sure you can still find him rattling off prose near Columbia's theatre building. But, the most creative pan handler I have seen to date would have to go to the woman who approached a classmate and I at Truman College yesterday. This woman approached us and asked if she could ask us a question. I know what's coming and my friend, even though she has just moved here from the U.P., I'm sure knows what's happening as well.

Woman: Good afternoon, ladies. How are ya'll...can I ask you a question.

Us: umm...I guess....

Woman: Now, I was in the hospital last week and they gave me one of those enemas, ya know, to move my bowels. Now I haven't gone to the bathroom in 62 days!! Now I'm just looking for a little change to get myself another enema...do you think you can help me out?

My classmate: umm I don't carry any cash on me, sorry.

Me: Sorry I got nothing. Good luck with that though.

AN ENEMA?!? She asked us for change to go buy an enema! I can't make this up! The area surrounding the Wilson Red Line is a strange place.

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